The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm at about main and main street
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
