the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
