Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
