just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
