If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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