All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
