I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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