i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
