Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
