Dual....:-)
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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