Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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