Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
