Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
