u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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