i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
