I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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