Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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