Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
