Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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