like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
