In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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