1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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