All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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