Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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