You don't have asthma, your pregnant
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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