i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
