somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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