You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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