you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
