just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
