I think i sorta joined a cult last night
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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