woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
