He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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