The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
