You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
