McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
