fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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