I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
