hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
