So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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