we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
