that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
