My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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