Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
this hospital has no fireball
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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