im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
