you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
