Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
