Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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