While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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