I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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