you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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