shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
