i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
