i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
