I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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