I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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